I used to know this kid who used pine cones. Ponderosa pine cones, to be exact. The big, round kind with the hard, pointy, rock-like ridges and plenty of space in between each ridge. I was shocked; wiping my ass with a razor-sharp hand grenade did not sound like any walk in the park.

Pine Cones

I pointed out how each ridge had a lethal needle attached to it. I emphasized by sticking him with one. The pointy section crushed against his skin. Painless. Or he just has no nerve endings. He said they worked like a brush. Better to get all the gunk out.

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