Practicing martial arts really helped my flexibility; I can do splits with a foot on each chair and kind of hover in midair. Dave once asked me to do that in between two bunk beds so he could go down on me standing up, just to see what it would feel like for both of us. I don’t claim to be a milestone in endurance, and I got kind of tired so I told him that this sucked and that we should stop trying to be the next Cirque du Soleil Porno Show and assume a traditional position. “Can’t we just be like normal people?” He told me that all the traditional positions are for having actual intercourse, and that since we aren’t having actual intercourse, we needed to be creative since he didn’t want either of us to be bored. I wasn’t bored, and I told him so, and that if he was bored with me, then why was he going out with me?

Flexibility

He told me that I ought to understand his need to do things differently since I am in art too and should be used to trying to find unique, innovative ways to go about doing normal things. I told him that sex has nothing to do with art or being unique at this point in our relationship and that it is about making the other person feel good, and who the hell was he to refer to making love to someone as a “normal thing” since it is unique with every different person? I was on a roll. Dave said, “Fine.” He asked me how I wanted to do it. I told him it really didn’t matter since he was shit at eating pussy anyway no matter how we did it.

 

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