Although there are obviously many exceptions, I’ve noticed that most people, most young, single, straight people who own a dog seem to have one of the opposite sex. This is true for myself (though I didn’t ask for a boy dog; it just happened that way) I think that we all like to pretend that our dogs are our boyfriends or girlfriends or significant others, because loving your dog is such a comfort in this cold and lonely world where you can’t always trust that human that you happen to be fucking even if you are in a real “relationship” with them.

Koa

I hope that I marry a man like Koa. I mean, since it’s not really legal to marry your dog and I don’t think sex would be really that pleasant for either of us. Or would it? Anyway, Koa has all the qualities I like in a man-- tall, dark, handsome… (staring dreamily off into the horizon)… Delia pointed out that a better description would actually be “small, dark, and pretty,” which made me think about the male Korean pop star that I was in love with in 7th grade.

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