One of my greatest feats of subtle agility and perseverance occurred on an 8-hour bus ride across Costa Rica. Honestly, most Americans are so spoiled by the ease of restroom accessibility in our own country. On the contrary, peeing in bottles and in the woods and alleyways of our urban landscapes amid the watchful or sleepy, unnoticing eyes of the public without the assistance of a penis is really such an important and underrated skill. On that faithful day, I shared a bus seat with a very large, and very asleep Tico hombre. I had the window; all environmental factors here were to my advantage. I was positively seeing yellow and praying that the empty plastic Gatorade bottle that I’d seen roll by in the aisle a couple of times 2 hours ago was still making its rounds.

Agility

Hooray! Jolt went the bus, roll went the bottle, and I reached across Senor’s belly and swept that baby up in one fluid motion. Now was the tricky part. I applauded myself for wearing loose clothing and got myself in position, huddled up against the wall of the bus and hoped that my seat partner would stay asleep and continue to do a good job being big enough to keep the rest of the passengers in the dark as to what I was trying to accomplish. I had some trouble getting started, to my amazement, but it was all good, my apprehensions about when to top it off were for naught, and I had one gleaming hot botella de limonada to baptize the Costa Rican roads with on my final journey back to San Jose for my return flight.

 

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