Free Willy was my favorite movie when I was a kid. They had an advertisement after the movie was over to call the Free Willy Hotline, 1-800-4WHALES to hear special updates on Keiko the orca whale that played Willy. I called it. Like every other day when I was 11. I called partly because I was extremely interested in knowing how Keiko the whale was fairing in his tank that was too small and about plans in the near future to move him to another more sufficiently sized facility further north. The other reason was that I was just fascinated by 1-800 numbers and the fact that they were free. I called other 1-800 numbers for the same reason, just to hear their automated messages and know that they were there. I called 1-800-ABCDEFG, the number for Hooked On Phonics to receive updates on cutting edge phonics learning programs. I also called 1-800-VAGINA, and I continued to call it whenever I was bored because I liked the sexy music in the background. I always hung up after the music was over though, because the sexy, alluring voice that followed kind of scared me.

Free Willy

So I continued to call 1-800-4WHALES until one day, the automated voice on the hotline informed me that Keiko the whale was dead. A few days later, the hotline was disconnected.

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